Nuggets from the Fire

Could it be that this financial crisis we are experiencing is the “big” thing I have been sensing?  For over a year I have thought there was change in the wind.  I have felt it was larger than a simple election, though this one is significant, what I feel is bigger than that.  Gas is in short supply.  Investments are in the tank.  Real estate is completely flat. Predictions are dire at best. All of our securities are being stripped from under our feet.  That is the bottom line.

There is a storm brewing…it is actually upon us.  It is huge and we need to prepare our hearts.  If all falls and fails are we ready for what that means?  I am afraid that our generation is unfamiliar with the kind of sacrifice that may be required if financial ruin comes to our country.  The ominous feelings that hover over my heart lead me to believe that things are just getting started.  God is crying out for our attention and it just may be that it will take going through our pocketbooks to get it. 

Yet there is peace.  God is fully aware of our circumstances.  He knows what will happen and when.  This is a time to draw close to him.  Currently, the gas crisis is causing families to stay home.  It is making us re-think our priorities and become more aware of the differences between our needs and our wants.   It is a good thing on many levels.  There is no need for panic but a call to prayer.  To see the darkness that is ahead and rest in the sovereignty of God is something that faith compels us towards.  Peace in the midst of panic.  A light in the darkness for those that cannot understand as their money disappears.  It is this time that God will show himself strong.  He will reveal himself to us as we wait on him with our hearts open to his voice.  Are you listening?   

An update on Bill…he went to the doctor.  He got 4 prescriptions.  They also set him up for physical therapy and did some x-rays.  The goal seems to be to get the pain settled down by reducing the inflamation.  So far no MRI has been done.  They are waiting to see if any of this helps.  He has been on prednizone for 3 days and so far has had only minimal relief.  The pain meds are helping him sleep better but he still has difficulty finding a position that is comfortable.  Right now he is mainly sleeping on his back.  He goes back to the doctor in another week or so to report any results and to hear what the x-rays showed.  Hopefully if he is not better they will check the disks then with an MRI.  We are tired from lack of good rest…but he seems slightly better today…maybe…a little…or not.  It is hard to tell.  Keep praying.

I love the fall weather we are having!  It is crisp and chilly…my favorite season.  I know we will get more heat before it settles in but I am content to sit on my porch for the days that we have now.  I wanted to give an update on the house.  The sheetrock is up!!  Hurray.  Now we are waiting for the sanding to be finished.  After that the cleaning company will come another time to clean the walls that aren’t new before the paint goes up.  We are getting close.  We do not have any money for furniture yet but my inventories have been in for a while so that should be coming soon.  It is our hope to be in sometime in October.

Now for another prayer request…Bill is having some severe pain in his neck and arm.  He is miserable and has been for about 3 weeks or so.  He goes tomorrow to a doctor to see if it is a disk.  The chiropractor he has been going to thinks we need an MRI.  We will see what the MD says.  It is our prayer that this is something that can be handled without surgery…but if surgery is required it will have to be soon because of insurance and because he cannot live like this for much longer.  We appreciate your prayers in the matter.

The morning is cool.  It is dark except for silver clouds that hide the full moon.  As I watch the clouds roll away, the mountains come into view bathed in shimmering light.  The light of the moon is so bright it casts shadows.  It is a spectacular scene.  I am again amazed at how differently the same scene can appear. Each day it is different, yet the same.  Much like God…He is so varied that the view of him and his love has unending dimensions, yet he never changes.  It is one of the numerous dichotomies that make him who he is.  This morning I am taking communion in order to be with him.  I watch his handiwork while I sit still to hear his heart for the day. 

Drawn to the light of the moon…I think.  A big glowing rock in the sky…how crazy does that sound.  It does not have light of its own. It simply reflects.  The surface is unimpressive…nothing spectacular.  But when the sun hits it there is no stopping the luminous glow as it flows like a silver river.  I watch the effect of the light on my surroundings. When the clouds roll back, the complete darkness disappears…now there are outlines of objects…trees, mountains, and valleys.  The moon…the floating rock is illuminating everything around. 

Then as I watch, the sun makes its appearance behind me.  I do not see the sun, rather its effects. The sky is split.  The mountains blush, and the moon fades in the brilliance of the sun.  One moment.  Night becomes day in one moment.  Today’s lesson hits me in that same moment…I am the moon.  Unimpressive on my own…nothing spectacular really, yet when I reflect the Son my surroundings change.  The darkness dissipates.  He puts me in dark places in order to shine and reflect.  But just so I do not forget and think the light source is something for which I am responsible, he shows up.  As bright and brilliant as the moon is, when the Son arrives the moon pales.  The Son takes center stage.  All is made known and there are no longer shadows.  All bow.  I know that I am simply a rock, made beautiful by his transforming light.

My heart has been quiet these past few days.  I watched some specials about 9-11 on TV this past weekend.  I guess it has been long enough now that we can gently look back at that black day and talk about it.  The shows I saw had survivors and family members of victims.  They analyzed how events unfolded and the problems with emergency response.  I think I must have watched three different documentaries.  Each of them was well done and very respectful, even in their analysis of the failures they upheld the heroes.  The general conclusion was that no one could have ever expected such tragedy and that despite our losses many things went right on that day.  Hundreds of lives were saved amid the ones that were taken. 

What most amazed me were the survivor stories.  Hearing people describe the noises, sights and smells first hand brought tears to their eyes and mine.  They talked about praying to God that death would come quickly.  One lady said she was wondering how badly it would hurt to burn to death and how long it would take.  This was brutal, honest heart talk.  As several people spoke about inhaling the smoke and the burning sensation of eyes and throats, I could relate in a new way this year.  I took in one deep breath of toxic smoke in my house and thought I was drowning; the lack of oxygen was so great.  How in the world could these people be alive to tell the story of hours in smoke filled stairwells?  It was dark in our house as fire fighters used flashlights to find their way.  How could men climb 100 stories of a building empty of light but filled with smoke?  I have a new respect for those men.  I have a compassion for the survivors and grief of heart for the victims.  The families, all handling the tragedy in different ways, are scarred by what happened on that day. 

The television brought back the pain of that day in living color.  It will continue its reminder throughout this week I am sure.  I am drawn to it just as I was to Princess Diana’s funeral.  It is historically sad and misplaced.  My mind wonders as it tries to grasp the significance of such events.  It wants to categorize and put this into a box somewhere…only it won’t fit in a box.  There are no precedents.  Nothing so heinous could have been imagined.   And in the midst of the flashbacks I say do not forget.  Let the horror do its work in your hearts.  Life is uncertain.  You never know.  It could have been you.  Allow the true questions to rise up.  Where is God?  How could he let this happen?  Who is really in control?  What would have happened if it had been me?  Or my loved ones?  Then the biggest of all…God do you really care?  About us?  About me?  Then listen…quietly, silently listen for his answers.  Wait as you watch the planes.  Wait as you hear the commentary.  As the fear rises up, wait for his peace.  He says “I care more than you can ever imagine.  My desire is for you to cry out to me.  Even in the midst of the plans of evil men, I will uphold my beloved ones.” 

Priorities changed on that day.  Life and death became clear, everything else is just stuff.  Families matter, loved ones matter, friendships matter…work is just a vehicle to the things that matter.  When it becomes something else it is time to find something new.  Hold on tightly to your new priorities.  Do not forget how short life can be. The lesson of 9/11 is to say what needs to be said and don’t forget to Live Fully.  Don’t ever forget.

Last Sunday…I am a little late in writing…I had a wonderful experience. Some of you were probably there for the cardboard testimonies at church. If you weren’t it was amazing. For those that do not know, it is a way to share what God has done in your life, without saying a word. The idea is to write a “before” word or phrase on one side of your cardboard and an “after” on the other. For example, one side may say Crack Addict the other would say Addicted to Jesus. It is a simple phrase that sums up what God has done in your life. As the music plays, Our God is Mighty to Save, the procession begins. There are several people lined up and each one takes a turn standing for several seconds holding the before word to the audience. Then slowly, the sign is turned. The transformation of a life is illustrated in this simple motion. I was asked to participate by a dear friend. Bill and I decided to go as a couple. My sign said Cancer on one side and Resurrection Life on the other. Bill’s said Traumatic Brain Injury and the flip side said Healed by His Blood. We felt that there was power in our joint testimony. When we made our signs I thought it would be simple to walk up and turn it. What I did not expect was the emotion that accompanied this uncomplicated action. The flood of tears and the exaltation of victory rushed over me, side by side. It was overwhelming. I could feel the presence of God flowing as person after person testified…silently. What a way to share the love of God! We did this in both services and at Sunday in the Park in the evening. All three times it had the same effect on me; overwhelming gratitude. My friend Robin saw it in the first service. She too is a cancer survivor. Afterwards we hugged through tears. In the second service she joined me as a victor experiencing resurrection life. It was glorious to share the stage with so many people that have experienced God’s amazing grace. I was humbled, overwhelmed, and grateful to participate in such an event.

This weekend I had a wonderful surprise.  The family had arranged a birthday party for me at Bill’s moms.  The plan was a cookout swim party.  As far as I knew it was just my own family and Bill’s mom and dad.  We added a friend of Peters to the list.  At home, Bill had been on the phone all morning on and off, leaving the room each time.  I was beginning to get suspicious.  When we arrived at
Skitts Mtn. our friends Pete and Heather came in with their baby Silas.  We hadn’t seen them in awhile and I was excited to see them.  In my mind, that accounted for the suspicious behavior to some degree.  We went on to eat and enjoy each others company.  I went to the sink to put away my dishes and when I turned back around Hannah was standing in the kitchen “Surprise!  Happy Birthday Mom.”  Needless to say my tears flowed out of happiness. It seems somehow she ended up in Cartersville and had to have some direction to get back on the right path home.  That is what all the phone calls were about.  I was just glad for the surprise…It was a great weekend with my girl.