Nuggets from the Fire

“But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ- the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.”

Phillipians 3:7

We are studying in Phillipians at church.  Today we were in chapter three when something struck me.  You know how you have read a passage of scripture 1000 times and on 1001 it is like brand new?  That is kind of what happened to me today. 

In the first part of the chapter, Paul tells us all of the reasons he has to put confidence in his flesh…his knowledge, his birth, his zeal,  There is quite a long list of things that made him exceptional in the eyes of both the Romans and the Jews.  My epiphany came with the word loss. Before I have always read this as “I am nothing.  Jesus is everything” and actually, that is pretty much what he is saying. However, I have a new understanding of the word loss now so I am looking through new eyes.

After our fire, we had to inventory our total losses.  That meant that we had to catalog every item that was ruined.  Not only catalog it, but we had to know where we got it, how much we paid for it, serial numbers, model numbers, how old the item was and how much it would cost to replace it.  It was tedious work calculating all that we lost in July without air conditioning or power.  The definition of loss meant that an item was so damaged it was unusable.  The smell was toxic, or it was growing mold and mildew, or it was warped or burned or melted.  It may have been saturated with putrid water, or have a mountain of wet sheet rock on top of it.  It was gross and you could not have paid me to take those items back.  Loss.  There was nothing good about these items.  Even the ones we thought maybe we could save were beyond cleaning because of the depth of the poisonous gas. 

So how does this relate?  Our lives are a loss, just like our furniture.  All the good, all the decorating we do in our lives to make things look nice is only a prop to hide the fact that we are a loss. Sin saturates and ruins even good lives.  I believe that deep down, maybe even in our subconscious, we know this is true.  When God opens the eyes of our hearts to see reality, we know it…if we are honest with ourselves. 

Navigating the human experience is something we all have in common.  Life can be hard.  It doesn’t go exactly like we planned, and we seem to always carry the burden of what could have been. What should have been if we were just more…  It doesn’t really matter how much you have or don’t have, or what your life experiences are, there is something in our hearts that KNOWS that there is more to life than what we have. As we move through, we catalog our losses.  We know what we had and how much it was worth, though sometimes not until it is gone do we fully understand an item’s value.

 Life is like trying to run in waist deep water. Heaviness surrounds us.  It pushes us on all sides, and mainly we are happy just to remain upright, because we have all seen those that have not.  But if there was a way to not only remain upright but to run unencumbered would you take it?  Would you leave your burdens behind?  This passage tells us how.  Count it loss.  Realize that nothing you can do will remove the pressure. You have to give up your life.

I am talking about the Grace of God, because even though our lives are loss, he sees more. He loves our loss and wants to redeem it. The more we know we can be is planted within us by him.  Our desires to be fulfilled come directly from his throne.  Only we cannot do it without HIM.  If you can catch a small glimpse of this you will begin to breathe easier.  Could it really be that simple, that opening our hearts honestly to God could save our lives?  Could we feel the burden lift off our shoulders?  The last part of the scripture answers these questions.  “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death and so to attain to the resurrection from the dead.”  When our lives are loss, why do we try to hold on to them so tightly?  If we surrender them, resurrection comes.  I think that is why whenever grace is preached completely there is a response. People are moved.  We know we cannot do life on our own. When the word of God’s grace goes forth you can almost feel a sigh of relief as the burdens are carried to the cross.  It is then that we attain the resurrection from the dead life we are living.  It is then that our lives have meaning.  More is simple grace, simple belief and trust that what he says is true.  Amazing grace how sweet the sound…

Another Valentine’s Day has come and gone.  As much as I hate the commercialization of it, I still love the thought that there is a day set aside to honor love.  I am not into the sappy stuff, for me simple is best.  Bill and I go out and have a nice dinner together.  That’s what I mean by simple.  It is not about gifts but about time and thought.  Connection really.  Busy lives…now with a puppy added in…need a break to remember the romance.  After all it is why we have our lives as we know them today.  We wanted to share the overflow of our love and so we had four kids…and now one dog and a puppy.  It just seems right to want to spread love. 

The history of the day goes way back to when, as legend has it,
Rome declared soldiers could not marry.  It was thought that they would give more of themselves on the battlefield if they didn’t have a wife waiting at home for their return.  A priest named Valentine began to secretly marry couples defying the order of the Emperor.  He was caught and jailed.  In jail he wrote letters to a woman that had befriended him.  The letters were signed Your Valentine.  He was executed on Feb. 14^th, thus solidifying his place in history.  Now all of this is questionable if you read enough and there are several versions of the story causing me to think it is probably a legend rather than a fact.  However, I still like the spirit of the story…that love cannot be stopped by war or prison. 

I also know a true version that says love cannot be stopped even by death and that I am worth any cost.  It is this story that has captured my heart.  I live the divine romance each day with my Lord.  He woos me.  His desire is that my heart belongs to him alone. He has proven that his heart is for me by his sacrifice.  It is a dance really, he in the lead and I follow.  Sweet communion.  No human relationship can compare to this heavenly one. 

Valentine’s Day keeps coming around each year, and at its heart is love…a love that cannot be quenched; a love that cannot be stopped, despite all things against it.  It is a picture of the true love that leads to death and then resurrection. A love to be shared…

As soon as I stepped foot in church today there was an electrical charge.  I recognized it as the signal that the Holy Spirit is on the move. “Stop. Listen. Pay attention.” He whispered. “I am here.  I am moving, watch and see.”   The first words out of the mouths of the men’s chorus caused goose bumps up and down my arms.  My heart beat faster and warmth spread over my face.  I have learned to pay attention when this happens.  Basking in the Glory of God is one of my favorite past times.  There was power this morning.  A male choir, fresh from a men’s conference was worshiping with all their hearts.  Caught up in the moment, I lifted my voice to join theirs. When God’s presence is tangible I allow him to envelop and carry me.  I wait and listen for his message to my heart. 

The worship was glorious, but God’s message for me was not in the worship. The topic of today’s sermon was humility, based on Philippians 2, one of my favorite passages.  But today God’s message for me was not in the sermon.  No today, God moved in my heart during baptism.  Tears were in my eyes as I watched a former student rise to newness of life.  The water rushing over her to show a recent commitment to the Lord was like a balm to my soul. 

You see, this student is not a church goer.  She has had a rough road, an unbelievable road.  While I taught her a couple of years ago my heart ached.  I could see her need for the Lord each day.  But I teach in a public school, so sharing my faith was not an option. As with all of my students I try to reach out and show the love of the Lord in my actions, but there are situations where that doesn’t seem to be enough.  This was one of those.  I had to pray to ask God to give me his love for this child.  Her attitude was not easy, her wounds festered anger just beneath the surface which regularly bubbled up in contempt towards others…especially teachers.  Yet God placed her in my classroom.  So I prayed to see her with his eyes.  Over time God was able to soften my heart towards her, and in the process he softened her heart towards me.  I tried to teach her how to get along with others, as well as how to read and write.  We forged a relationship that was strained at times, and productive at others.  In the end, I was saddened when it was time to send her on.  I was attached by the bond of prayer. 

Soon I saw her at our church.  I was in disbelief when I began to see her every week. She always had a hug for me and I had a smile for her.  I found out that a woman in our church had taken the girl under her wing.  This was not an easy task.  People at church did not welcome her.  While I was ecstatic that God had brought her here others were not so much.  But the woman did not give up on the girl or the church.  She continued to show her the love of Christ, until one day, the little girl recognized her need for a savior.  She told the pastor, “I am lost.  I need Jesus.”  When he asked for her family to stand before she was baptized there was no one there for her.  There were a few of us that happily stood to our feet to welcome our sister in Christ.  Teachers, mentors and others that had met her on occasion and it was an honor. 

The message for me today?  God spoke to my heart and affirmed what I do.  It is my ministry to be in the public schools for girls like this one.  He showed me clearly how he works even when my tongue is tied by laws.  He is soooo much bigger than the government. He gave me his eyes to see how he is using my life in the midst of the world around me.  Even as I plant seeds of prayer for my students, he will reap them in his time and in his way.  I cannot stop him…neither can the schools…or the church. The fields are ripe for the harvest.  The message is that he is moving with life changing, Holy Spirit power…watch and see what he will do.