Nuggets from the Fire

I found this via a friend’s status and thought it was too good not to share it. While it was written to describe the place you find yourself when you have a disabled child, it can be expanded to include anyone who has in one way or another ended up in a far different place than you expected. Excellent perspective and way to look at life. Thanks to Emily for writing it. Thanks to others for posting and sharing it.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

A warm fire on a cold night in the fall just seems soothing. Somehow, it comforts me and makes life feel simpler. It is not the building it or carrying the wood up the stairs that makes it so…I think it is the fact that to properly enjoy a fire you have to sit down for an extended period. Quiet, stolen moments are a rarity in today’s world. The crackling wood and smell of smoke (the nice campfire kind) signals a change in season. Summer is gone. Autumn is upon us with all the glory of vivid colors and muted sunlight.
Hot apple cider and pumpkin bread produce smells, which both create and resurrect memories. If you imagine, before long, you will be transported to the days of jumping in piles of leaves in the yard. Smiles. Giggles. Raking them up and then splattering the colors all over again. In the childhood memory category, it ranks right up there with splashing in puddles and chasing fireflies. See what I mean…simple.
Moving forward in time to fall football games, we were and are wrapped in plaid fleece blankets with hot chocolate steam to keep our noses warm. All ages sitting in the nippy cold cheering for the team. The magic of fall brings with it the ability, for a couple of hours, to forget about everything but the game and being with friends. Hands maybe cold but hearts are warmed with togetherness.
Fall festivals, in the mountains, during leaf season are a call to go gallivanting and meandering around every curve. Roaming through antique stores, stopping for boiled peanuts, and fried apple pies provides an escape from everyday life. Fall lures and charms us out into nature. It is as if God uses the gorgeous weather to call to us. “Come see. I am waiting for you in the simplicity of fall.”
What a season…can you tell it is my favorite? On this day, I sit in front of the fire with a house full of college kids, as well as three of my own. A full house is one of my favorite things, so a full house in the fall, in front of the fire is contentment for me pure and simple. I am content to be facing a new season, in more ways than one. I am content to grab the time with my kids when I can. I am content to be in the place God has put me. My heart is full this day and there is a smile on my face once again…in the fall.